Hi all - "was never in love"

[Mat]

That's sound advice. But not to make excuses, she did send me something: a 400 quid bill!!

I hate this limbo. I just want to get my dilapidated house fixed, live somewhere nice or get the cash out then really think about things.

[Mat]

Hi all,

Going out tonight with a meetup group. Hope this goes well.

I have pretty much lost hope with wife. I think her stubbornness, and the fact that I am realising she was sincere in her reasons, mean that this is out of reach for me.

Interesting thing, it was our anniversary two days ago, and her sister posted wishes on my facebook wall. That would mean she hasn't had the courage to tell her family yet. If I was optimistic, that could mean that she's actually reconsidering. But I know her history with her family, unfortunately I think she's just not interested in them being involved in her life. She'll have to let them know sooner or later, mind.

I am making progress on the house front. The lawyer is almost close to a final draft of the letter I need to write the freeholder to unlock the whole license for works thing. It'll be nice to feel like I am moving forward in life.

I dread that the next conversation I'll have with my wife will be about D. I just don't see any other possibility. What reason would she have to come back - there's nothing to miss in her mind.

A lot of mindreading, I know. But I get that from what she's been saying long before she left.

My job will be to have a good time tonight. I won't be dead for a while, and I need to move past this. I'm not the only person with an ex in this world.

I'll also schedule a call with coach to see if there's anything I can do.

At least I am detaching. If I'm wrong about her intentions that'll help. In the last four weeks, the only happy moments I've had is when I am daydreaming about us reuniting. I need to knock that $hit off. It can't be healthy.

New beginnings.

[Maybell]

Mat, although it's really healthy to acknowledge the reality of your situation, it isn't over till it's over.

I don't want to say much more than that, because I don't want to cheat you of a necessary stage. Calling a coach is a good move.

Hang in there.

[Mat]

Thanks Maybell. It's hard to keep going on in limbo like this, as I know you know.

[Maybell]

Read labug's thread. She & her H were separated 2.5 years but that time was mainly about her own growth. She had moments of blues, but many more of wisdom, humor, personal development, and growth during that time. If I could show similar depth of character and grace and just general loveliness I'd count myself a success no matter what happened to my marriage.

[Ggrass]

Hands Matt and envelope

* inside your invitation to my personal black hole party! *

I've gone dark, h is not too smart he thinks I should chase him even after he spat just short of bogies spit, but there was moisture in my face.

Come share jokes and keep posting and holding our cyber hands. Even if she turns out not be or worth the wait. We are here and


We, including you are damn awesome!

Ps
I get the bill thing, mine sent arrears from work done in r! Oh and expects me to give him $17k no questions asked!

Um hell no!

[Mat]

aaaawwww shucks no one's online to advise!!! She just texted. I can't read her attitude. "Hey if you have time let's meet up. Let me know if u r free".

I give it an hour then say I'm free after 4pm. I know we're told not to accept every invitation, but turning her down after 4 dark-ish weeks seems a bit silly no?

I really wanna see what she's up to - and if I have to brace for D (though I won't bring it up myself). And I think I can pull off the brave face. I'll have gone to kickboxing earlier in the day, and I'll talk passionately about getting my a$$ kicked.

OK I'm talking myself into it. If anyone is going to talk me out of this you have an hour!

[Ggrass]

No, Matt go kick a$$!

Good luck.

[Roid76]

Go for the talk if she wants!! It could be any number of things, try to prepare for at least the big three, D, R, or just catching up. Just act like everytjing is good, no matter how hard anything she says hits. My WAW has said some really nasty things early into separation, now it's all friendly. Who knows what it means, doesn't matter as long as you are happy with you.

[Mat]

Thanks you guys! I am pumped no matter what. If she brings up D logistics I'll be responsive but not too much.

The scary thing is; our separation wasn't nasty. That's what makes me think she may be detached.

But I can't do anything about that. I can only review my 180s.

Thanks a lot you guys. Are you in my time zone?