Ok .. another book I need to pick up ... Thank you so much for all the advice, starting to see things a bit clearer ... baby steps
And yes I realize the OM is a symptom of the issues we had and its pretty much how I have viewed it ( when I was not so hurt and upset about it) the only reason I brought it up was that I feel like a fool for thinking we were working on us and he was still in the picture when she had told me he wasn't .... once I came to the realization it didn't matter if her were 10 inches or 1000 miles away all I could do was work on me ... I have been in a much better place and seems in the past few months that relationship has lost the luster.
