2t2m No worries at all, we are all here for help and 25 has already shown me how far off I was when I thought I was on track.
I have both books on the way, seems I am having difficulty with the detaching/validation combination. Seems its a fine line to walk , GAL but still try to connect and get more information.
Looking back on the marriage I took on the extra work because I felt she wanted the money, she always stressed about that regardless of where we were .. .turns out she wanted me there more, this is something I have talked to her about and have openly regretted.
The 180's I have made: I have opened up the weekends, I dropped the Saturdays when I commeted to our relationship (I did now know OM was still in the picture as she was not honest about that)... so with this new time I have been availible for us doing things as a family .. or I have done things with my son while she did her thing (I did make sure never to ask with who or where and got to a point it just didnt matter as I was working on me) I have gone to church on a regular basis ... not one of her big issues with me, but one I actually pursued on my own, I have become increasingly more spiritual since losing my family. I lost a good deal of weight ( however gained a few back recently so I need to get back on that) I have done alot better not getting angry, using a softer voice and talking calmly to her.
