Wife walked aways (two months ago now) new thread

[BigMac]

Journaling

I'm having one of those no hope days. I have my son with me again, so I don't let him see me down.

I gave 30 days notice on the house that we rented (well, I've been living her without her since February, and officially since May. I'm moving the kids out to Austin where she moved to.

I have to say, this is shaking me to my core. In one of the co-dependancy books the author talks about "in-between times" My job changed (company got acquired) the day that W left and never came back. My W has been gone, and I'm processing through that, I'm losing my home of the past 3 years and having to find a new place in a new town.

I'm scared. Very fundamentally, I'm scared. I wish that I could believe that this world was a safe place. I wish I could believe it will all work out. But lets face it. It hasn't been working out so swell for us so far.

I am losing patience, I am losing hope. There have been minor positive changes in our communication, but ever since the OM heated up she has been angry. I wish I could see the light at the end of the tunnel. I know when I got married, I said for better or worse, sicker or poorer till death do us part. But I struggle being the only one holding onto those vows. I never thought that working towards reconciliation would feel more alone then being alone.