Hmmm...I have no idea what I'd do with the body. Plus he weighs 80 lbs. more than me...how would I move it?
Did I tell you I was going to the chiro. for MYSELF? I went at lunch time yesterday. We talked about h. They are waiting for his xray results. I went home, told h that i went, and how much better I felt! I said that they are going to call him when his results are in.
The chiro said that he DID say a lot of things to h, but that he prob. doesn't remember b/c it was so much to soak in. So, I GENTLY tell h that chiro says h has probs that he needs to get fixed or they will only get worse. That a lot of his upper spine is fixated. H: "well, I guess I better make an appt. soon." woo hoo!!!
Last night he asked what I wanted to do, I said go to a winery. we discussed food, he was being non-desicive again, so I picked where to pick up food. went to winery, had a really good time. he looked great, we laffed. then he asked what I wanted to do (about 10:30) I said I didn't know, it was his turn to pick. he said he wasn't picking, I said me neither. so, he said, ok, we'll do nothing! ok, we go home. I'm trying so frickin' hard not to initiate (or make sexual comments at the winery...like let's go home and get naked!) so, we sit on the couch...i act concerned about his back, ask if he wants to read, etc. he says, no, do you? no, but i can amuse myself if you do. ...he says I can jump up and down on him! I say, "how? jump on your back?" no...naked. Me: ok, now you're talkin'! So I did...
Man, was it hard not to say something or make a move on him. But, as you know, it is frustrating to get turned down and I know I send out some insecurity vibes that turn him off and make him feel used. Yes, he IS a man!!! but, this is nice b/c I know that he really cares when we do ml. & he sure does take care of me!!!
So, I focused on just having a "pleasant" evening, not expecting to be whisked off of my feet. I bit my tongue on a few instances. I started to think negatively before we left, but nipped that too. I read part of "the power of a praying woman." A couple chapters talk about getting control over our mind, the other, how to not believe lies in our heads. The question to ask ourselves: "is this a thought I would choose to have?" If not, it is NOT from GOD!!! So, that's what I did last night, and some of the stop sign technique...
tonight is concert in cleve. I want to come up with a couple options for dinner. It's raining and we'll have to do a lot of walking!!!
