Barrybran - [Insert Original Thread Title Here]

[Barrybran]

Yeah that all makes sense. I agree with you about having stability before trying for another baby. It's something that has been important to my wife for a long time now. Prior to BD, having another baby was something that she wanted and I repeatedly shot down rather than discussing it. I feel my concerns were legitimate, particularly with needing another car (which she has since bought herself since separation) and how it would affect my eldest son who already suffers because of the time and energy my youngest two require, however I lost sight of the fact that it was something she wanted and that it was important to her. ie. I invalidated the crap out of her.

Whilst I still have concerns about having another child, the fact that she's brought it up again is both a sign that she is warming and a discussion point where I can listen and validate. I'll have my chance to discuss my concerns when the time is right so I'm happy to just sit tight until then.

On another note, my wife and kids came to watch me play soccer yesterday. My wife hates sport with a passion and my games are one hour out of town. She could have easily stayed home, gone to visit a friend or done anything else and instead, she chose to come and spend the day with me. There was no lovey dovey, we just chatted and enjoyed some time out of the house with our kids. She chatted with one of my teammates wives and my kids went off to play with other kids while I played my game. In the past I would feel down because of a lack of affection or interest. Through DB, I've learned to appreciate times like yesterday because my wife could have done something else and instead chose to do something with me. I thanked her and the kids on the drive home and thanked her again privately before I went to bed and left it at that.