What to do? Well, your H is stubborn! I've got myself into some tough pickles with a chiropractor, and it does sometimes hurt more before it gets better. It sucks!
Maintain by acting AS IF he really does hurt. I'm not saying cowtow to his hurt back, especially if he's unwilling to get back to the doctor.... but you can go on your merry way and make plans and say, "Gee, hon, I really am sorry you're feeling so awful. Would you mind if I went out anyway?"
It's perfectly okay to set boundaries with your H on the gun thing. In fact, it looks like he's resenting you for it in a joking manner--because it keeps coming up in conversation and he knows you don't like hearing the story repeated ad nauseum.
"H, are you still upset with me for that?"
He'll probably answer, "No, why do you ask?"
"Because it really hurts me to keep hearing this story told. I feel bad about that, I've apologized for it more than once, and I'd like it to be buried once and for all. But if you're still angry about it, is there something else you need from me to forgive me for it?"
It's not unfair to ask for what you want, Karen.
Mr. W. used to hold the cost of my wedding ring over my head, joking to all his friends that he HAD to buy the ring to make me happy, and because of it, he would never be able to afford to restore the vintage Studebaker.
I had a horrid temper tantrum at a party and apologized profusely to his friends for how I acted. One of the women finally stood up to Mr. W. and said, "I accept Betsey's apology for her behavior, but K, she has a point. You joke about this so often that I feel you're trying to tell her that you'd rather restore the car than get married. Is this true?"
He said no, apologized for being a jerk and never made that comment again. I probably would have done it, but it was way more effective coming from a friend.
Relax, Karen. There are no dealbreakers in this post. However, we could take all our stubborn spouses out back and shoot them?
Hugs,
Betsey
"There are only 2 ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."
