Hi all - "was never in love"

[Mat]

Hi all,

Going out tonight with a meetup group. Hope this goes well.

I have pretty much lost hope with wife. I think her stubbornness, and the fact that I am realising she was sincere in her reasons, mean that this is out of reach for me.

Interesting thing, it was our anniversary two days ago, and her sister posted wishes on my facebook wall. That would mean she hasn't had the courage to tell her family yet. If I was optimistic, that could mean that she's actually reconsidering. But I know her history with her family, unfortunately I think she's just not interested in them being involved in her life. She'll have to let them know sooner or later, mind.

I am making progress on the house front. The lawyer is almost close to a final draft of the letter I need to write the freeholder to unlock the whole license for works thing. It'll be nice to feel like I am moving forward in life.

I dread that the next conversation I'll have with my wife will be about D. I just don't see any other possibility. What reason would she have to come back - there's nothing to miss in her mind.

A lot of mindreading, I know. But I get that from what she's been saying long before she left.

My job will be to have a good time tonight. I won't be dead for a while, and I need to move past this. I'm not the only person with an ex in this world.

I'll also schedule a call with coach to see if there's anything I can do.

At least I am detaching. If I'm wrong about her intentions that'll help. In the last four weeks, the only happy moments I've had is when I am daydreaming about us reuniting. I need to knock that $hit off. It can't be healthy.

New beginnings.