one day at a time

[Ggrass]

That's good, then twm, I had it. It's not a nice thing to have mastitis.

What's with the whole passion thing?
I don't expect an answer really.

I've had a slight cold, now I have a real large crop of cold sores!

Not fun.

[twinmom]

I wish I knew..... I screamed at him "you don't want to be here and I am so angry with you" and he immediately grabbed me and started with the passion thing.

I so need help controlling my anger. Anyone have any tips/advice on this?

[twinmom]

I know mind reading/figuring out what they are thinking is frowned upon here but can anyone help me because it's absolutely driving me bonkers!

During my blow up (I really need help learning to process this anger better because I seem to blow up about every other week) I was yelling at H that I was tired of playing happy family at church and that the life we are living isn't real... the life of come home from work to a lovely dinner, have enjoyable conversation about the day and then family time with the kids. I told him I didn't want him to go to church with us anymore, he said he was Catholic and needed to go anyway (ummmmmmmm sure as he'll are not practicing the faith)

So fast forward to today, I get the kids ready for church and H gets in the car with us. I just gave him a "look" as he knows I won't blow up in front of the kids.

Can someone please give me some insight as to why he "agrees" to move out, to not go anywhere as a family, to not try and kiss me...... and then does it anyway??
He tells me now that when we divorce is up to me, he wants me home with the kids and he tells me now we can keep the marriage for "financial" reasons for as long as I want. But in the same breath he told me he is still holding on to hope that OW will take him back and he has no feelings for me.
So I really don't understand his actions and his words.

[figgeroni]

he is manipulating you

that is all

[claire7]

^^ if that is true, it's particularly heinous. You are still post-partum. Hormones still adjusting, sleep deprived.

If he wants to help you financially, would he be willing to hire a mother's helper, or a housekeeper who can give you some relief with the household chores or keeping the toddlers occupied, especially during the early evening/bedtime hours?? I imagine that time of day might be really tough.

[twinmom]

Claire.... if you haven't read my previous threads, my H has done some pretty f'ed up stuff.... definitely not the man I thought I married, he is very self centered but likes to make sure no one else views him that way.

[Ggrass]

Yeah so did mine in the last year!

I hope he leaves soon, it will make your life with the kids both tougher and easier.

It will help with the stress levels.

[twinmom]

Small changes...... tonight instead of having dinner ready at 5:30ish when H usually gets here dinner was ready at 5:15.... so the older boys were done eating and the twins were just finishing up when H walked in. I had cleaned up the kitchen and put all the leftovers away instead of leaving any out for H. I handed H the baby, made my iced tea, and took my spaghetti to the table.

ACTION to show H I didn't make dinner for him.... food is here if he wants to eat but I cook for the kids not him!

[claire7]

That's GREAT!

[Maybell]

Nice job getting creative!