I think we are of the same mind in respect to DB needing to take ownership of causing W tremendous pain by his cheating. Our experiences and insights are valuable here. You know that our experiences are colored by our on filters and from what we've learned in observing other relationships in IRL from our circle of family and friends.
For DB and W, I do think it is vital that he acknowledge her perspective. Posting my apology letter to Ms. Wonka here is for DB and other DBers to file away in their minds for I've learned tremendously from others who have written to their WAS. I am not saying that DB should write the exact same letter to his W...but offer him some info that he can glean from this and tailor to his sitch.
DB,
Julia,
Thank you for reaching out. It shows the extent of your character that you were able to say this after the hell I put you through. I would be very, very careful of using the word "your character" for the implication here is that she has questionable character...she may perceive it that way! So don't go there. I wouldn't put "after the hell I put you through" for it just hallow words.
I do have a lot of work to do, and I'm glad to finally be doing it. Your compassion and grace mean more to me than you know. Ohhh..saying you're glad to be finally be doing it...sounds glib. Re-work this part.
My birthday has been great. John and I drove a van with 5 Alateens all day today and yesterday to their conference in Oregon.
Such a beautiful drive. So many stars here tonight. smile
All the best,
You might want to say somewhere in there that you will be responding to her thoughts later as you need to reflect them and tell her it deserves a thoughtful response.
