WAH - next chapter

[LisaB]

watto14 thank you so much! I hate to hear you are having an emotional time but in some way it is good to hear that I am not the only one...

I too am crying and low today but I guess tomorrow might be better.

There are I guess a few possibly good things that came out of this emotional vomiting:
- I needed to get this stuff off my chest and he needed to hear it (even if he can't really hear it)
- he did sit and listen to me for hours so I guess he can't be that turned off to me, if he really was over me he would have said "enough" after only a short time (but possibly mostly guilt)
- I got to refute some of his ideas about why we should be split up, and say how untrue they are (again don't know if he can hear it but maybe)
- I got to hear that he is not happy, he wanted me to know he is sad
- I got to tell him that I wish he had taken "space" as he requested so that we had time to think and try, and not gone straight into D mode

I know all the above are completely against Sandi's rules and DB. But still I feel they had to get out there at some point. I never really made a fuss when he moved out or BD and I think he believed I was fine with all of it. I was not fine and now he knows that. And now maybe I can move on from these details and be cool again. Back to square one.

Read some about detaching and letting go and it helped a bit, maybe it'll help you to see it (again)? http://www.livestrong.com/article/14712-developing-detachment/

* To "let go" does not mean to stop caring; it means I can't do it for someone else.
* To "let go" is not to cut myself off; it's the realization I can't control another.
* To "let go" is to admit powerlessness, which means the outcome is not in my hands.
* To "let go" is not to try to change or blame another; it's to make the most of myself.
* To "let go" is not to care for, but to care about.
* To "let go" is not to judge, but to allow another to be a human being.
* To "let go" is not to be in the middle arranging all the outcomes, but to allow others to affect their own destinies.
* To "let go" is not to be protective; it's to permit another to face reality.
* To "let go" is not to deny, but to accept.
* To "let go" is not to nag, scold or argue, but instead to search out my own shortcomings and correct them.
* To "let go" is not to criticize and regulate anybody, but to try to become what I dream I can be.
* To "let go" is not to adjust everything to my desires, but to take each day as it comes and cherish myself in it.
* To "let go" is to not regret the past, but to grow and live for the future.
* To "let go" is to fear less and love myself more.