Wife dropped the bomb; doing in house separation

[HopeTex]

Got some time away from home on a 4-day business trip which I think is good right now. Enjoying interacting with folks and not obsessing about M all day.

I would live some good advice from anyone familiar with DB'ing during an in-house separation, with three young kids. I think I am doing ok, I try to be happy and upbeat when I am around her and interacting with this kids. I am not pursuing her or initiating any R talks at all, for several weeks now. I also stopped talking to her family or friends about our issues. After the kids go to bed, I pretty much giver her space (like she asked for in our last big convo) by going to my room, going out to meet a friend, etc. I typically let her start conversations, which she does fairly regularly, just on everyday topics like kids, etc. I have urges to pursue, and fears that if I am so detached she will just spin away further - these urges tell me "you need to do things to show her you love her, you have changed!" But I know from this board that those efforts will likely backfire.

Focusing on GAL and finding that challenging. But I know it takes time and patience.

W is taking the three kids on a vacation to Colorado to visit her relatives, without me. Pretty depressing to hear that, but I am dealing with it well and did not protest or react, just said Ok, sounds good.

I have a good Christian counselor, he started as our MC but gradually W stopped going so he is basically my counselor now. He keeps nudging me toward making some type of decision, like he wants me to throw in the towel and announce I am ready for D. Maybe he is just testing my resolve, or preparing me for the worst. I know he wants to make sure I am strong and detached in case W does go forward with D. He also mentions that when a LBH finally demonstrates that he is acting as if the M will end and that he has come to grips with it and knows life will go on, that is sometimes when WAW finally turns back to H.

I get this feeling from counselor, my parents and sister, and certain friends that they all think I am a pushover and have been putting up with too much from W from too long. They all think it is time for me to make a more concrete move, like moving out or even filing for D. Like I am stuck in an endless rut with W and that I need to "take control" and start steering the ship more. My inclination is to just keep DB'ing and being patient, detaching and GAL, improving myself and my happiness, etc. while giving W the time and space to see my changes, miss me, and perhaps have a change of heart. Not sure what it would help for me to "push things" right now in terms of moving out or filing for divorce.