I dont know how I feel today. I know Im worried about my anniversary coming up and how I will handle it. I'm thinking about if I should even get a card, not sure if H will remeber or if he does, will he even get me a card. I'm not sure if he gets me at least a card,,,and I have no card for him,,,

Well my gut is telling me to have a basic Happy Annivesary card and leave it out for him before I go to work and leave it at that. I'm NOT expecting H to plan anything like I said he may not even remeber or mention it at all, or it may be an after thought once I leave a card for him. I want to make sure that however the day plays out, I dont get too hurt or upset and I dont mention it if he does not.

I'm not really experimenting in other ways while DBing, I dont think its time to invite H out on "dates", he is doing family outings but nothing just us yet, and I have not hinted or ask anymore. I do sometimes just touch him and watch his reaction. When he sleeps in our bed (which is he doing now 99% of the time) I kiss him before leaving for work. Oh I have also a couple of times kissed him before he leaves for work, which seem to be strange, so I backed off doing that.

Monitor, I watch often, to see how he reacts and or pay close attention to what he says, I catch him watching me alot. I ignore his cell phone, his mail, what time he leaves or comes homes certain things I need to avoid to make sure I dont start to ask questions or bring up the R or M.

I have to figure out where I am right now and what I want. So I have been focused on me and my son, and really tired of the whole M and this DBing, I need to wait a while longer,,but getting tired of waiting. I see small tiny signs from H at times, then for a couple of days nothing.

I need to pull back some more now, cause I want to have a M discussion, ask R questions and I know I need to wait until my H brings those up.

It has been a year since no ring for my H, and I thinking after our anniversay it may be time for me to remove mine,,,put it away.

Sometimes I feel like its time for me to move on,,,,stop standing...

Needed to post this today to help me,,,
Feedback welcome, needed,,,

Me 43 ring off Oct 2014 (my ring back on Feb 2015)
H 51 (ring off 7/2013)
M 2007 T 1996
S 14
July 2013- H told me he was unhappy.....said he is staying for Son
Feb 18 2014 Found out about OW