I would rather be the one the bitterness is being dumped on than the one filled with it.
YES. But it took a long time to see that, believe it or not. I thought I did many times, but it took a while.
One of my favorites, since we're sharing, is that I walk too loud and it was just to get to her. I talked about it in my threads somewhere back - it was like the Telltale Heart. She was sleeping in the upstairs MIL suite (never worked very well) and when I'd come into the kitchen (just below) after working all day etc, she complained that I stomped around so it would bother her. This was roughly about the same time she started cheating, told me she wanted to date people two at a time and bring 'em in the house etc.
I think Tad's was funny too. His was angry he didn't take her to the "right" grocery store.
There's a thread around here somewhere with some of the craziest things LBS's heard. Kind of a hall of fame thing - you would not stop laughing if you heard some of those...
To be serious for a moment. The job thing sux, but I have to say that changing jobs, for me, was helpful. I was able to get away from people that knew about the divorce, the cheating, etc. Kind of nice to not have to talk or hear about it any longer, I have to admit. There's always something bright on the other side of it - if you find it.
As for the pursuit. Don't worry about how that goes. You need to do things for you in that regard. I know you miss him. And he likely finds this difficult as well (believe it or not) but be sure to do these things for you. You need to heal and get to a place you can open up again - that starts with taking the focus off of him and putting it back on you. You'll have to be a little selfish here.
Put your effort into it and it'll start to get better sooner than later. More positive too.
AJ
"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter" MLK Put the glass down... "Yesterday I was clever so I wanted to change the world Today I am wise, so I am changing myself."
