D MIL when H was 9. It was really ugly and H actually has repressed memories from childhood...clue #1 that MLC was going to happen. I did mention to H a few years ago that he should talk to someone about that..." No, I don't need to. I'll be fine."
FIL wasn't really there for H. H feels neglected and abandoned...clue #2. FIL came to 3 of H football games during the 4 years he played in high school. This is huge b/c I got yelled at a few years ago and then have it thrown in my face repeatedly (even though it was H suggestion), that I need to come to my S practices. I was in school, which H supported and H said "don't worry about coming to practice. It's silly for you to be there, just be at the games." WRONG...H is projecting this resentment toward me. I notice I actually get it a lot.
So I bring this up cause of the FIL call last night. H was ranting that he only calls when he needs things and even though his sons are the most important things in world to him, they never hear from him. I validate H and empathize. " I'm sorry you feel this way. I'm sorry your dad hasn't really been there for you and is treating you this way." H says, "it is what it is. I got over it." Ummmm, no you haven't!
FIL forgot H birthday the past 4 out of 7 years. H is always being called by younger brothers name (H is middle son, younger brother is from a different R). FIL actually only calls H when he needs something. I could go on and on...
FIL is diabetic and doesn't take care of himself, left leg amputated above knee. He fell last year and was on the floor of his apt for 3 days before someone realized this. H found him...fear that he will find F dead in the apt. We tried to get him into a nursing home, but FIL fought tooth and nail. Moved FIL to apt close to our house (ironic that h left the following weekend, huh?)
Sorry for the rambling. I felt I needed to get it out of me. H is holding onto a lot and I wish he could see it as clearly as I can. I do now realize that it's FIL that H is treating me like. I did make this comment to him a few weeks ago and H has been more friendly, which is why I was wondering if he was MLC. As I keep thinking and figuring out my sitch, I realize H is in mild MLC compared to some, but no matter how mild or severe, it hurts like he!! from the rejection.
No more sad talk, time to GAL and get ready for S first football game
Atsbaby M:36 H:35 T: 19 M:12 S:11 D:9 BD: 5/4/14 Proof of OW 8/13/14-love note from her 8/19 admits OW 8/22/14 files D w/o telling me 9/20/14 Says he wants to reconcile
