I stopped bringing up the A to my wife. I try to avoid any and all conversations about the OM/OMW, even though she tries to initiate the discussion at times. It's tempting though.
Regarding the OMW, their situation is almost identical to mine. The OM disclosed to the OMW a month before my wife disclosed to me. My contacts with the OMW have been mostly one-sided (she does most of the talking). My main purpose was mainly for information gathering and to get a deeper look into their relationship and why it failed. The other (bigger) reason is to see what I can say to her to change her approach in an attempt to better her odds at getting her H back. For example, I know that she's been using extremely unhealthy tactics (e.g. showing up at her H's work with the two kids, asking to confront him and my wife). She uses her children against him, putting negative thoughts into their heads regarding the situation and regarding my wife. Children should never be used as weapons in marital conflicts of any type. They're off limits, IMO. Her children are 7 and 4.
To answer your other question -- no, I am not really a spiritual person. I don't align myself with any particular religion. You can call me an agnostic.
M: 15 years BD: 6/25/14 EA/PA: starts 5/14/14 11/30/14 - A ends 5/15/15 - D is finalized. 11/28/15 - Start of new LTR with a wonderful woman (and still going strong)!
