Still searching for clarity/thoughts on the b-day gift dilemma. I'm leaning towards giving her something I'd give a friend for a bday. Since that's all she really is. Something inside me is making me think she wants some kind of bigger gesture though, since I really haven't done that at all since She went WAW.

My other potential situation is if she decides, last minute, to invite me to Portland w/ her and the kids. I don't think she will, but I'd like to know how to react if she does. I really don't know what I would choose. Do I want to go to Portlsnd to go to the zoo and do fun things with my kids? Yes. Do I want her to see what life will be like doing things with the two kids w/out her partner? Yes, the kids are hard, especially out of town after a long car ride.

Thoughts on these 2 things?

Me: 34 W:33
T: 10 M: 6
S: 6 D: 5
BD: 5/14
Still together(ish)
Not giving up: 7/14
D talk has slowed, a lot.
Gradually working on things together. Still separate bedrooms.
Slow and Steady wins the race.