WAH - next chapter

[LisaB]

Thank you Zues126 for your kind words.

I was doing really well with the DB techniques. GAL, 180s, and I was feeling ok. My H kept contacting me wanting to meet and I was terrified about it. Turns out I guess that instinct was right. I think it brought up too many feelings for me.

We met the first time and generally it went well. I managed to stay positive, calm and seem happy. He seemed cautiously interested.

As I mentioned above, a few days later I discovered that my H was trying to meet up with a mutual female friend, I assumed to flirt ..or more. On top of the OW I just could not handle this and I confronted him about both women over the phone. We had a huge fight and he claimed he had no such intentions with this woman, and mostly denied OW (again). Somehow through the fight we decided we should talk more about the R and how things happened with our split and agreed to meet in person yesterday.

During our long meeting I ranged between dramatic, angry, loving, calm and funny. I was all over the place. He was mystified. I confronted him on the OW and put all my cards out there. I explained how hurt I was by the lies and deception that happened when he left. He seemed sorry that his behavior had hurt me but again, he was not pleased with my erratic mood and accusations. At the end of the meeting I became quite clingy. A huge mistake!

He says he had fallen out of love with me because he no longer admired me, was bored and felt we were too dependent. He said we simply now have different goals in life. My crazy and clingy behavior probably didn't help that. He is also having some sort of identity crisis which is making him want to change everything in his life.

I feel so foolish. I think my DB work had been having a positive effect on him. He seemed very interested in what was going on with me. He also seems sad, lonely, confused. He's trying really hard to GAL but admits to sadness and loneliness. He's trying to date new women and fill the void, and says I am not easy to replace. So why is he trying to replace me?

The only thing I can do is go back to DB square one. But I feel so discouraged and disappointed in myself. I feel I have terrified the squirrel. And I don't know if there is any hope.

Thanks for reading.
Lisa