Karen I'm gonna whack you good!!!! Get him down off that pedestal and get up off the floor!!! He is NOT too good for you, he is human and he is your H. Remember M is hard work and it takes two. We can give it a good start with DBing but eventually our S will have to contribute. You have done very well and I know right now it doesn't feel like it. It's perfectly okay to have a pity party once in awhile but do it so it doesn't affect your R. I get this overwhelming feeling of "I can't do this anymore" too. I use a "time out" for myself. It will pass! You know that.
Karen you sound so like me...sometimes I am Jeckyl/Hyde. I get that "he is too good for me, I have treated him so horrible, he doesn't deserve this" crappy feeling and then at times it is the "I don't deserve this, H treated me SOOOO bad at times, I am not gonna take this anymore". I feel like freaking Sybil!!! It's perfectly normal. So deal with those feelings when they come, but don't wreak havoc on your M and R because of those times. Be strong. I know you can!!!
Now...a big (((((((HUG))))))) for being so rough. You're okay Karen. Just breathe and try to get past it. Praying really helps me. A nice hot bath and good music does wonders, too. If it helps, my PMA was pretty bottomed out this morning and I am now topping the mountain! It CAN BE DONE!!!
You know the routine...come vent here and be sugar sweet to H. He's only human, my friend. Don't put him above you...he has made mistakes too. Take care and let us know how you are doing. God bless,
Debi
