Hello fellow db'ers. How are you doing? I feel like complete and utter crap. I don't think I can do this anymore. I have tried sooo hard to get help and I just can't seem to get it right. I don't think that I'll ever be able to be the woman/wife that h wants me to be. He deserves to be loved much more than I can love him. He truly is a wonderful man.
I appreciate him when I am away from him, but can't seem to relate to him on a personal level. Nobody deserves to be treated like I treat him. I act like he is never good enough and that he doesn't care about or love me.
I think that it may be time to let him go. I think it would be a more loving thing to do rather than to keep doing to this to him and making his life miserable. I love him so much. I hate the thought of not being with him, but I am not being a loving person to him. I don't see how I can get my crap long enough to make a family with him.
I'm getting older and it just doesn't seem to be happening. I don't know what else to do. I thought I had tried everything, I know it would help to db, but I just don't do it. I don't know why and I don't know how to stop. I can't go on like this anymore and I don't want to put him through this anymore.
I have no hope, faith or trust in myself, this r, or him. I don't feel like living anymore right now. I feel like such a failure. Nobody deserves this.
