Finding my way - part 3

[Meghan]

Maybell: Right now, I'm more inclined towards general awesomeness and working on me (although awesomeness has included some wearing of nicer things recently, so the thong thing's not totally out of the picture - it's nice to feel like I look good and I'm making the most of the results of the "my marriage is in trouble diet").

The more I act awesome, the better I genuinely feel, even if it started as an act - fake it 'til you make it, I guess. Dancing around the apartment to classic rock, singing out loud, wearing nice clothes and makeup, and taking care of all the things that need taking care of around here have left me feeling a lot better about myself and a lot more able to cope. Gotta keep this up.

I really like your excellent trip metaphor. It's so easy to lose sight of the big picture and the whole journey, particularly when it feels like you're battling heavy weather and just trying to stay on the road. I'm trying very hard not to crash, and paying attention to what I need to do to stay on the road. I'm also keeping an eye open for upcoming things that could knock me off course a bit. I'm really going to put in a lot of effort to keep up these things when H. is back, because even from here I can see how easy it would be to fall back into old patterns. And, if nothing else, I like this version of me a whole lot better.