On Thursday I had to call 911 and go to the hospital due to severe abdominal pain. Turned out I had coughed so much and so hard from recent cold that I tore a muscle in my stomach and started bleeding internally. They stopped the bleeding and kept me in the hospital for 2 nights. I was pretty bad ... couldn't move for a day or two without horrible pain. Am home now and doing much better although I have severe restrictions on activity.
Contacted H right away, of course. His response .. OMG ... do you need me to come home?? Really? How am I supposed to respond to that? He had a big move scheduled for this weekend and started telling me the ramifications of having to change everything but kept saying he would come home if I "needed" him to. He finally told me that he needed to hear me say "I need you here" and he would come home, but he needed to hear those words. One question. WHY Didn't YOU say those words? What stopped you? DIG DEEP.
I just told him that I would like him to come home, that I wanted him to come home, but I didn't "need" him here. So, of course, he stayed and proceeded on with his plans for his main mistress, that damned factory.
Now that I am on the mend, I am getting angrier and angrier. IMO, you have nothing to be angry at HIM about. This is on you. But you need to know the dynamics of your M, to be really honest here. Maybe the real issue is he's not living there with you and that's what you are really angry about.
You have created a marriage in which you are not the priority, so he's used to you taking a back seat to the business, and frankly, so are you. Maybe that is why you are truly upset.
I can't help but wonder what would have to happen here for him to feel like it was at least as important as the operation over there.
What would have to happen? Sounds as if you had to say 4 words to him: "I need you here."
If I had told him I needed him here, he would have ended up blaming me for delays over there. I feel like he put me in a place of having no choice but to tell him to stay there.
No, you put yourself there and now are blaming him for things that did NOT happen and
are based solely on your expectations of what "MIGHT" have happened IF you had said you needed him. MAYBE HE NEEDS TO BE NEEDED...
You don't KNOW for sure what he'd later think. He was clear, you were not.
So do I say something ... If so, what???
I am just so tired of competing with that damned factory. It is the most important thing in his life ... no question. I hate it and see it as the source of all the unhappiness in my life. He knows that, but he just keeps moving forward and deeper.
I am so ready to just tell him have a great life ... that I am finished!
I'll keep reading your thread to the end, but the question that keeps hitting me so far is,
why would this situation change? Would HE change it? My assumption is that he will NOT change it. There is no indication yet that he will make a change
- (but maybe that's on the next post!)
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
