KGirl - post-move

[KGirl]

Maybe not yet. I think I need some time. I'm really angry and frustrated with H right now so it's hard to reframe anything he's doing as anything positive or even neutral. I received a letter in the mail about why the one bank wouldn't approve a car loan for me: my "obligations are in excess compared to income," thanks to the fact that my name is still on our house so it is still considered my debt, even though I'm not paying anything for it, plus my name is on my apartment. I did get approved for a loan from a different bank but it expires on August 23. I'm worried about them reapproving me or getting other financing if it would have been a better deal (like from the car dealer). Then I thought "well at least I could get a cat..." but actually getting a cat will increase my monthly rent, which could further hurt my ability to get a car loan in the future. So I'm angry that H's indecision about how to proceed is affecting some of the financial things I would like to be able to do. I feel like I'm getting the cr*p end of everything, while he gets to sit in the house we picked out, with the cat, and a nice car. If I knew it would be worth it to hold out on dividing things officially and whatnot (via filing for D) because we'd get back together... I could hold out... but I have no way of knowing. He also neglected to transfer another bill he was supposed to pay from his own checking account. I texted him to ask what was going on with that, and instead of apologizing, or telling me he'd get right on it, he sent a story about how his computer has been broken for the past two weeks so he hasn't been able to make the changes. I call BS. He works at a desk job, on any given day in the past two months he could have gone online and switched account numbers. Just excuses. I'm kind of fed up with him right now.

I know people have much worse stories on here of spouses who ring up tons of credit card debt, just don't pay bills at all, etc. I'm very responsible with my money and bills and I'm becoming uncomfortable with relying on him to pay things that are in my name, not to mention the fact that the debts/housing payments are preventing me from obtaining other credit. It's very tempting to ask him what's going on and if he is headed in any particular direction yet. It's hard for me to imagine him actually taking any action either way. I honestly think this will go on until I'm tired of it and will file myself, because even though he's 99% sure he wants a D, I don't know that he'll ever be able to pull the trigger. I just want to live my life how I want to live it and I feel held back right now.