Just got off the phone with my DB coach. She thinks the situation so far has had some encouraging progress, but some notable setbacks. I have to stop getting myself involved in arguments with her, especially about the affair or our past. I have to control my anger. I have to stop contacting the OMW.
I did not know you were contacting his wife. IT's really telling that you did NOT disclose that here (or did I miss that?) If you did not disclose it here, that should tell you something about your motivation and your "lying by omission".
It's a huge NO NO. I cannot stress that enough. There is no way to see it as anything other than manipulation and control and vindictive punishment from YOU.
And btw, how do you know if you just crushed that guy's wife's ego? Maybe THEY WERE trying to patch things up or maybe she wanted to, but now that you have "outed" her h and your w, it makes it that much harder on her pride to know that it's semi public.
Do not tell 3rd parties this information. It never makes YOU look good. Plus don't make it harder for OM to go back to his wife.
You want to keep the road home paved & smooth for your wife, (AND for OM's and his wife, right?)
Approach pursuit tactics very carefully. If I can get a full week of "good days" (no arguments or conflicts), then I can build on that. I haven't had more than two or three consecutive "good days" since D-day, four weeks ago. well you have to build on that, for sure.
I have to keep my good attitude and detach. Give her the freedom she so desires without stepping over any boundaries that we've both established.
indeed
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
