I think you need to work through your anger over what she has done, you may think you're over it but from your posts you are clearly still upset about it.

Because if you were to be in contact with her I think more likely than not you would show anger towards her over these things.

Me: 35 husband:39
Sons 16 and 11 from my first marriage
Twins 5 (boy/girl)
Daughter 3
Affair bomb 2/27/14
He moved in with ow 3/13/14
OW kicked him out 6/15/14
4/2016 he seeks help for sexual addiction