Really hurting

[amacin]

Hello
This is my first post and I wish that I wasn't on here but I know from past experience that this site and the people on it as well as the counsellors and Michelle's book are very helpful, as my husband and I went through a seperation 7 years ago and we were able to work through it.

But here I am 7 years later and now hes telling me "I love you but I'm not in love with you", "I'm not sure that I want to be with you anymore", "we're on two different paths", and "neither of us has been happy for awhile".

I guess I should start at the beginning.
My husband and I have been arguing a lot lately and I had started to wonder if I really wanted to be in this marriage anymore. I knew I loved my husband but I felt very alone and unappreciated. Then On July 10th my husband and I got into an arguement in which he told be that he didn't think that he wanted to be with me anymore. This knocked the wind out of me and made me realize that I really did want to be with him more than anything else. Well he went for a ride and when he came back he told me "yes I love you and Yes I want to be with you but there are changes that need to happen" and of course I was willing to make these changes.
The very next day I signed up for counselling to deal with my depression and saw my doctor to change my anti-depressants. Things seemed to be going very well. I even asked him what he thought and he said he was very happy about the communication and the progress that he had seen so far.

And then on the 20th he hit my with the bombshell of "I love you but I'm not in love with you", "I'm not sure that I want to be with you anymore", "we're on two different paths", and "neither of us has been happy for awhile".
I was evestated. I never knew what happened to make him change his mind.
Now we are going to couples counselling but so far we have only had one session and neither of us are sure how to feel about it. She is not as "marriage saving" oriented as I would like.
I am re-reading the divorce rememdy and have signed up for their counselling again and have my first session tonight but as much as I am trying to stay positive I'm really hurting and sometimes feel like it is a lost cause.
There are some positive signs that I am tryng to focus on like,he's willing to go to counselling, he's still living at home, and he says that he is willing to see what happens.
But it still hurts that he does not want me to touch him or kiss him or sleep in the same bed as him. All I want is for him to hold me and tell me we'll work it out. But I know I can't ask him to do that right now.
On July 29 (our anniversary) he said that we are not together but he is willing to work on our friendship and see where it goes from there.
I'm hurting so badly.
Any encouraging words are VERY welcome.
Thank
you
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amacin
2 kids
togerther 12 years
married 8