What is "Living Life to the Fullest", Alex? #7

[Georgiabelle]

Thanks Shining. The kids aren't exactly thrilled with their dad most of the time so I just try to minimize the hurt. I know they still feel neglected and ignored by him (they tell me, their IC and anyone else will listen that) I smell good but I admit I feel a little blah today. I'm about to throw myself a brief pity party with streamers, chips & salsa along with some margaritas. Ugh. I hate feel blah so I'm trying to shift my focus.

I hate admitting this. I really do. I read some people's sitch's and I remember when h was here post BD, we had some positive interactions. I will see some of those same things on people sitch's and I will think " oh that happened to us too. Don't get your hopes up". I certainly don't want to be anyone's hope killer. It's just that it appears that so many of these sitches have the same ending. Now, the LBSs have made some marvelous strides. I don't know. And then I read sitches where I think it's fairly obvious there is OP. Then 2 weeks later you see thevLBS discovers OP and it's just sad. Sad all around. Ugh. I hate and appreciate hearing new stories. My heart breaks for them and yet it just keeps on. How can you not want to keep your family together? I know. I know. Some people just don't want to deal.

I don't want to be single. I hated dating. I don't want to date. I don't want my family to be broken. Although, in reality it is. Heck I don't even know if anyone would date me as I'm carrying around a nice set of luggage. Grrrr. Maybe I'll just go eat worms!

I'm sorry for the sads. Trying to shift my thinking this afternoon. The kids love me and so do the dog and cat. Sigh. Thanks for listening. I do appreciate this board.