First post, DENIAL was my HAPPY PLACE!!

[Shining]

Thank you for the encouragement, everyone. I need it more than I sometimes care to admit.

Just got back from meeting with L. Disappointed, but not too surprised.

I'm in a state that does not have the option for legal separation. L was a big-time D promoter, which I expected. That's his job, and his interest. And his $$$.

But, the law is the law, and that's what I needed to know. I can try and do a post-nup or "partition" which would separate assets, etc. per whatever h and I agree to. BUT.... it is only a contract, and if H goes and spends and accumulates debt, etc, in the event of D, I would have to sue him separately to enforce it the contract and recover any damages. And if he doesn't have any $$ to pay, well, we all know how far suing can get you sometimes. So, there's the risk.

The good news, is we don't have much that is joint. No joint CC. No joint vehicles. The house is for sale already. No other big property. We each have our own retirement. We don't have kids together, I have child support that takes care of them. My kids are D13 and S15, so they're not little.

So I would be risking a ton of money in potential debt, and my credit, if I don't file for a D. L pushed hard.

If I decide to do nothing, and he spirals further financially, I would have to start all over like many on his board, have limited options due to bad credit, have to work harder and possibly never get to retire, but would still be ok, and so would my kids. Not a great option either.

This is a lot to consider. He is one sick puppy, but I still love him. I believe in our marriage, in our vows, and I believe in miracles. But I also know there are no guarantees.

Here I am already, at the crossroads.... of going against my faith and my gut, or cutting my losses before they potentially get worse.