Upside Down You Turn Me

[Meredith]

Sorry I have been so busy lately and haven’t had the catch-up time that I would like!

I just read through your latest, and I admit that my first thought was “pay him back…but you’re MARRIED!!” But the important thing to remember is that all marriages run on different financial terms. My own is now completely joint, because of the separation. But prior to the split we had three checking accounts. One joint, one in my name and one in H’s name. Our paychecks were deposited into the joint account. Every month we’d pay bills from the joint account, put some money into savings and S’s college fund and then we’d divide the rest. Our joint checking account had a very low balance – just enough to catch any missed checks or whatever. We’d each pay (slowly, mind you) off our individual debt from the money in our individual checking accounts. If we got money for birthdays, Christmas, or whatever it would go into our individual accounts. Mine typically had a higher balance because Sting has a passion for spending, but we each started off on equal footing. It also made it more meaningful when we bought one another gifts from our OWN money.

My mother almost had a conniption. She felt that marriage meant joint, period. My best friend was a financial freak and she did everything joint, like you guys. It all depends on what works for you. It clearly works for your H, but if this situation does NOT work for you, then you are justified in requesting a change.


Now, all that out of the way…I AM SO HAPPY FOR YOU!!!! Go you, go you, go you !!!

Many positives there…keep showing him that you are in this for better or worse, and that you accept him as he is and you’re well on your way to happiness woman!