H called me before I left work. I asked if he was going home. He asked why, I said b/c I sent him an email. He asked what was going on? Or what does this have to do with? I said the bike thing. He asked what about it, I said money...I was getting choked up. He said, this isn't anything to get upset about. I said that I knew that. (I just CRY at the drop of a hat, ok???) So, I took a moment and said I'd read the em to him. He asked why I couldn't just talk to him. I said b/c I get emo.
He was VERY understanding and WHAT??? COMPASSIONATE!!! He said that he thought this was going to be "our new thing" and that he didn't want to do it w/other people b/c he knew that would be a bone of contention. He offered to help with the money. We came up with a figure. I asked if he expected this to be paid back. NO!!! WoW!! (he pretty much ordered a bike today!)
So, we hang up, I get home, TALK some more. He asked again why it was hard to talk to him. I said b/c I get emo., you get defensive, I freak out, you get angry and it goes on and on...I said that he thinks just b/c he sees tears that I'm going to attack him. He said that isn't true. (W!)
I told him that I knew I was getting too upset, but listened to what I was telling myself and changed my stinkin' thinkin' before i wrote the em. I told him I was making some ASSumptions. He said what? That he would do this w/o me. I said, no that you'll do it BETTER than me!
He also had a misconception (and admitted it and APOLOGIZED-WHAT???) that I wasn't all that interested in componentry. I said that yes I am, just that I was relying on him b/c he was doing all the research. I said, I've asked you what's the diff. b/t this bike and that and you say, the componentry. (Well, DUH!) He said he didn't think I was interested in details. I said I've asked him stuff about his truck and he is vague. He asked if I would understand. I said you can use layman's terms and i'm NOT stupid. etc., etc...
Oh, and he asked how I could think that he doesn't care about my $ sit. He says he knows it's hard and didn't he pay a couple little bills for me, offer to transfer my cc balance to his lower % cc, and make suggestions on how to fix sit. Um...yeah...you did...
We go to liv. room, finish up and he holds out his arms to hug me. He said, see isn't that easy? He went out to din. w/friend, I'm going to vball. Uh oh, almost time to go!
thanks for being here-my foam pad to fall onto when I can't hold on anymore. karen
