The last ten days have been crazy. A week ago Wednesday W says I can't do this to son, lets work on R. Two days later when camping at a father / son outing she moves my things to our other house. She filed D back in May. We've went to mediation and had temp spousal / child support order set for when I leave M home. Had her L sent me a letter saying I am in contempt of court because I froze our overdraft acct tied to our checking acct and needed to deposit X amount of money into our checking acct. L may have been surprised when she saw that I had already deposited more money then she had requested in her letter. W says if I will move out and give her some space she will stop the D. We talk about me moving to the lake and decide is time to tell S10 about what is going on. I was doing so well detaching and GAL then I jump right back on the roller coaster with her. Tell her I will move out but there is no need to stop the D at this point, maybe just slow the process down and see how we feel after separation.
God knows how painful it was/is telling our son about it tonight. He/we must have cried for an hour. How can a mother continue down this road when they see the pain they are causing. MCL must dull any emotions.
I don't know if I should still plan on leaving and giving us both some breathing room or tell her I can't do it after seeing how much pain I/we are causing and if she need space she needs to go. I feel if I do we need something in writing so I don't get screwed if she does want D. Some days I start to wonder if that's not what I want too.
I wonder if I just screwed this DB thing up but son deserved to know something. W has been sleeping upstairs with me in master since January. I thought he knew something was up but now maybe not because it hit him like a ton of bricks.
My head is just spinning now. W is going to the Dr to see about AD then to a counseling appt. I wonder if I go and the meds kick in about the same time then maybe think it was me all along causing her sadness. Has told me of OM that lives 1500 miles away but she is planning a vacation mid August with S and think she may see him. Am I down to LRT? Should I move and go dark but will still see her when we swap son.
I need to get off this crazy train and watch it from the station.
Support and suggestions would be great about now. Thanks for everything!
Me: 55, W: 46 T: 17 M: 15 S: 10 3 S prev M 25 23 21 Unhappy 10/12 Asked to move out 1/14 NILWY 2/14 Sep rooms: 1/14 BD 3/14 W filed 5/14 Trial 12/14
