Onto another square

[25yearsmlc]

One "bone" to pick with you is b/c I posted a lot to you on some other thread, and now, here I am and I cannot find it. How many threads do you have?

People, You really must stick to ONE thread....there, I'm done with my bone picking...

I had another coaching session with Chuck today and it was well overdue. I postponed it for three weeks out of hopelessness and impatience. In those three weeks a lot of negative thought patterns returned and sought refuge in my head.

I choose to act "as if" until I find out otherwise. Yeah, there's overwhelming evidence but there's also just as much stuff to counteract them.

I support your DB coach's advice (and would not openly disagree anyhow, but I really do agree with Chuck) about dropping the "pathological liar" stance.

Mainly b/c of the reasons you listed, BUT ALSO b/c I don't see you at risk for something MORE than you already are.

Meaning, it's not as if you are now deciding IF you should have a baby together ...and you ARE going to see a lawyer at some point, right?

So, what is the added risk right NOW, if you act as if? I see no added risk.

As for moving out west, imo, there are reasons for it --family is a big one--- but one of those reasons is NOT fighting For your m. B/C moving away will not help you there.

It still may be the right thing to do, but yes, I see it as a big "moving on step"...away.


And btw, unemployment here in most of California, is higher than in VA.... And if you are in northern VA, unemployment there is among the lowest in the nation (b/c I guess the feds in Washington DC are always hiring someone,). Food for thought.

I also believe his questions about your work prospects are at least partly fueled by his financial concerns with or without a divorce.

Those are legitimate concerns I think, either way it goes (together or not) b/c HE is affected, right?



This is tough because we're nearing our closing date and I'll be back home in just 5 short days. I haven't seen the house since they started on the construction and I'm almost certain it's complete. Oh my double wall oven that I may never get to use.


Trust me, There will be other double wall ovens in other houses...and it's a THING, not a R...

Plus, I have one ( it came with the house.) It was VERY pricey and very unreliable!! and so darn expensive to fix ---every time something beeps on it...So you see? you are saving yourself stress!

Truly it's a "Dacor" double oven, the most expensive oven we've ever had, by far AND by far, the least reliable. Bad combo...!

I texted him today to see if we could set up a time to plan when we will finish splitting our stuff. I said "when you get a chance today I'd like to discuss how we can proceed with accomplishing the items we discussed last week." He called me back shortly after I sent the text. He claims that it would be his only opportunity to talk today. So I told him that it did not need to happen today but we can agree on a date that will work with both our schedules. He suggested tomorrow evening but I told him that I have plans to go out. His response was "oh, with your brother?" I said "oh no just with my friends." Then I said that maybe Saturday would be best if he didn't have plans. He agreed.

The convo took a surprisingly positive turn. We discussed some stuff about the kids and my son living with his dad. H says he'd like to talk with my son's dad so he can exchange info and his experience. It was a perfect opportunity to validate and so I took it. We ended on a lighter note today and for now it's enough.

Count that^^^ as a positive. When you go home, be UPBEAT. Act as if you really have had an wakening and you know you are going to be FINE with him...or without.

And please find my post to you on the other thread (don't recall which one) b/c it's a tad long to go find now.

But I just hope you will continue to work on YOU, no matter who or what your h is.

Your children are watching you more than you know.

(((( )))