Car seats of some kind ARE required for children up to 85 lbs and 4'9" tall in my state. My daughter is 52 lbs and 4' tall so she NEEDS a car seat.
I never said a word to him BUT he took her to karate today and when I got home told me that he put the car seat back in his car. He told me about the other morning where he didn't have the car seat and then said, "I just didn't want you to think I was making a habit out of carting our kid around with no consideration for her safety." I said, "oh, ok. Thanks for installing the seat back in your car." D.o.n.e. See? Resolved itself and I'm glad I STFU. Trust him. My new motto.
25, I want to go through your response line by line with my notebook because you always give me so much to think about and a perspective I hadn't considered before. Thank you though. I will call EE and look further into that. I can do introspection but I struggle with really digging deep. I'm sure I'd get a lot out if it.
On a separate note, h found an apartment. This makes me sad BUT my DB coach suggested I look for the small glimmering signs of positivity so I'm choosing to look at these:
1). He picked an apartment over the condo and house he was looking at BECAUSE he CAN break the lease if need be on the apt but he can't on the house or condo. I choose to see this as a sign that I'm confusing him because he's seeing promise in me but truly it's way too soon for him to trust my changes and I'm realistic about that. Just the idea that he's considering the length of the lease speaks volumes to me.
2). He said he did NOT pick the house or condo because he'd "have to buy all new appliances and that'd be awful if there's any possibility of my coming home after a few months". Ding, ding, ding!!
I'm not being delusional, right? These are real positives, right? Sure, he's moving out and I'd rather he stay but realistically he's working on himself, I'm working on myself and space to do that never hurt anyone, right? PMA!
On Monday I'm going to SF to visit my BFF who just gave birth to her first baby. I'm photographing the baby and family and playing "auntie" for 6 full days!! H gains access to his new rental apt on Tuesday while I'm gone so he said he'd move some stuff in while d is at camp during the day. We agreed NOT to talk to d until my return. I'm really anxious and sad about that. I really wished we could have avoided having to tell her (because in my wish, h wouldn't be moving out) but she's pretty astute so we really need to talk with her. Any advice in this area. I'm physically ill just thinking about it.
I talk to my DB coach on Saturday. This talk with d is consuming my thoughts but I'm trying to focus on enjoying myself while visiting my bestie.
I did something today that I've never done before. H said he'd pick d up from camp, feed her dinner and take her to karate. Normally I stick around to mentally double check and make sure he's where he needs to be on time and that he hasn't forgotten anything, etc. today, I packed up and read in the bookstore for FOUR hours, found a cafe and at dinner alone then hit Sprinkles cupcakes and brought some home. I have never just disappeared like that but in keeping with my 180, I knew h could handle anything that came his way so I let it go. I also GAL!! Two birds, one stone! Hurray for me!!
