First post, DENIAL was my HAPPY PLACE!!

[Shining]

In other news...

I'm trying not to spiral down with depressing thoughts of job hunting. So, what else, what else, what else..... Oh!

Today is day 4 in a row of me initiating zero contact. (Yay me!). This has been by far the most difficult habit for me to break.

Yes, wise ones, YOU WERE RIGHT. Read below:

H initiated, yes I repeat, H INITIATED 2 emails and several texts the last 3 days in a row. I was a doubter. Not anymore. There was only the first 'one day' of no contact at all. None of the emails or texts had any urgent need, and they were still almost all business (no showings for house, mad at realtor now, he has mail for me)

H asked in a text if he could bring mail to me tonight, followed by complaints about the realtor. I thought, well....first of all, the subject changed, so his mail plan was gone for sure .....no way he'll do what he said he would do. (Right, job?) And he didn't. (You were right, job.)

No matter. There are no bills for me that are sent there, by the way. Only junk mail. But, who knows? It could be my Publisher's Clearing House Grand Prize! Do they still do that? Best to win after the post-nup is signed. Eh, I'd take it now, too.

WOW. If that was only my biggest problem today, that I had to share a large cash sum with H.... Lol

H didn't acknowledge his mother's birthday, which was Monday. Old days, I would remind him. Nope, not anymore. So many things like this pop up, where I notice something I would have done for him, or would have reminded him to do.

On a serious note, H stepdad was moved into an assisted living center today. He doesn't have a terminal illness diagnosed, or anything. He's 85-ish, 12 years older than MIL. I had already heard last week from MIL that this was happening. H told me in a text around 9:00pm that was the reason he didn't bring mail, as H was moving SDad's things for him. I was shocked he would even mention my mail with that going on. They really bounce thoughts, don't they?

Here was the conv:

H: Sorry I did not get back with you about your mail. (Fyi I didn't ask anything about mail) I just now got home for the evening. Mom put (SDad) in a nursing home and I was moving things to the home.

Me: No worries. Is SDad ok?

H: He seems the same. I think it's moms stress

Me: How do you feel about it?

H: It's sad to know he won't see much out of the walls of a nursing home much for the rest of his life.

Me: That is so very sad. I'm sorry.

That was it tonight. Changes in behavior that I notice, subtle, but there.
1. H definitely did start to initiate when I stopped. I didn't believe it until I tried it. The experts are correct.
2. I have slowed my response time from almost immediate, to several hours after H texts. H response time has become almost instantaneous, as he used to let hours go by.
3. I stopped having the last texted word. I would often be he one to "punctuate" the conversation. He can hang instead of me. (except this last one, the example of course, but I felt it was appropriate in this instance)
4. I used to be the one who was thorough, reviewing every topic and question that was asked, and communicating responses accordingly. Now, if I leave things out, he sometimes follows up.

So, onward.

Resume has been updated. Job searching is already beating me up. Time for a break.

Rambling, now. Going to check out y'all's threads