ss, this may not be popular opinion in terms of DBing, but I think your daughter's safety is worth bringing up and trumps your H's feelings. I wouldn't want to give the impression that that was okay going forward, and I think there are ways to handle it that don't have to lead to accusations or issues. WHO SAID HE DOES NOT HAVE A CAR SEAT? Not her.
Assumptions have gotten her in trouble before. They're negative...Hence the advice.
Plus, their d is 7 y/o, not 2...in many states she is not to be in a car seat at this age anyhow, depending on her size/weight.
What about something like, "I understand being in a rush and not having time to deal with her seat in the moment. Is there a time in the near future that we could install the seat in your car so that you don't have to worry about it anymore and things will be a bit easier in the morning?" That way there's no insinuation that you care about her safety and he doesn't
Oh BUT there is an insinuation AND You are ASSUMING a lot.
You are ASSUMING:
1) there is no car seat in his car; AND OR
2) that he won't get one; AND OR
3) that HE is worried about this, which we have no evidence of.
So it's feigned concern for "his worrying", in her thinly veiled way of controlling him, which he'll see thru in seconds.
You know, SHE can buy another car seat --- if all the fears and assumptions come true. OR if she cannot help but try to control him some more, which I hope isn't true. There is an opportunity here for a 180...
I think ONE short drive without a car seat (assuming all the worst fears about needing one AND not having one, come true) is NOT worth bringing up, given the givens here.
Divorce isn't good for their d either...So YES it's a chance I would take and yes, I'm a loving mother.
This is not a cross country trip, there is no evidence of him being a bad or careless driver , and even if all your assumptions are accurate about car seats and him lacking one, a lot of parents will not put their older kids in a car seat for a host of reasons, anyhow.
That's my .02
and you're working together at a time that's convenient to fix the problem. Plus, it's framed in a way that's of benefit to him without you directly stepping in to fix the problem.
Respectfully I disagree. I think she IS stepping in to fix the "problem" which may not even exist...
but I don't want to belabor the point. At worst, it's simply something he has not yet thought of and she could next time, ask right away if he needs "the car seat" but since she did not, this is an opportunity for her to step back and NOT act, for once.
But seriously, I really don't want to belabor this. There are bigger fish to fry and more serious issues to contend with. If this were a daily drive, it'd be different. (And that's still assuming negative things we do not know, which I can't stand to do here, AND SO...moving on....)
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
