I regret letting the possible female roomate out of the bag .. she asked and I told her ... I think I am not going to move for other reasons and will try to atleast slip it into a conversation just to try to remove that nugget.
I have been seeing an IC and its been going well, she is helping me deal with finding my own identity and stopping the overthinking things out of my control.
So we went to the free mediation appointment (I just got home actually) I actually will chalk this up as a minor victory for me. I arrived early as usual with my son ... she was there a little early for her but appeared visibly nervous/on edge. I actually printed out the 37 rules and was reading them just to get myself in a more controlled state given the circumstances. She asked what I was reading and I just told her something I need to read and left it at that, then I put it away and asked her how her day was .... she was short and out of habit but not really looking like she wanted to talk asked me how my day was .. I told her it was a good day and shared a pretty funny story that had happened .... she was taken back .. I think she expected me to be hostile during the meeting and I was actually being pleasant .. not overly happy .. but just in a good place and content. Meeting went as I thought ... just some basic info and rates and what to expect ... and we left. I put my son in the car and turned to her and told her goodbye and to drive safe ... she gave me a weird reaction then said "What we are not going to talk about this?" I calmly replied ... "Not right now I need to get our S home, fed and showered we can discuss later" and off I went .... She was mad ... not sure why .. I think she may have been looking for a fight to justify the separation ... how knows .. I was not going to let it get to me. Baby Steps
