Okay, you’re a crazymaker! I’d say congratulations…but I’ll save those for when you can say you’re a RECOVERING crazymaker
Controlling behavior list is floating around the board somewhere…but I’m going to post it here for you. I think this is something you’ll need to reference often, as I certainly have had to!
Controlling behaviors: Orders Threats Promises Psyching out / mind games Manipulating Blowing up / going off the deep end Physical illness / symptoms Time-out (when misused) Blaming Intimidating Withholding Violence Yelling Going to a higher authority Taking things away Making unilateral decisions Vigilance / stalking / following Being overly sensitive Wild statements Over protective ("for your own good") Giving alcohol or other drugs Making them feel sorry for you Keeping the other person ignorant / uneducated Using "male privilege" (man of the house) Withholding sex / affection Limiting access to items (eg car keys) Monopolizing the time Dominating the conversation Superficially polite / nice Handling someone else's belongings Rationalizing Black-mailing Shaming Apologizing Walking away Sarcasm Pushing buttons Nagging Interrupting Raising your voice Ignoring Using friends Bringing up the past Making demands Looks / stares Whining Using children Changing the subject Lying Isolating Fear Money Getting the last word Badgering Silent treatment Threatening suicide Giving rewards / gifts Giving the third degree Short fuse Flattering Requiring authorization / approval Secret purchases Defensiveness Impatience / hurrying someone Silence Quid pro quo Dismissive sounds (eg "tsk") Contrariness Argumentativeness Repeated correcting / negating Unsolicited advice Sabotaging the car or other items Taking / disconnecting the phone Hiding items that don't belong to you Playing the expert Extended pauses Rhetorical questions Talking down to Inappropriate humor Physical size Talking for someone Giving permission Micromanaging Back seat driving Making fun of
A few of these behaviors are normal…it is when you do them with an ulterior motive that things get bad. Let me know your thoughts…
"It is not easy to find happiness in ourselves, and it is not possible to find it elsewhere."
--Agnes Repplier, writer and historian
