Detaching won't happen over night. It's a skill that needs to be fine tuned with experience. So, don't be so hard on yourself when it's not coming or happening as you'd like. They'll be slip ups but just get right back on the saddle and continue.
I agree with Rayzzz that flaunting your idea to move in with a female friend did nothing to help your cause. It may have boosted your ego to see her reaction to it but then what? You only reinforced that you are not a safe spot to land. We don't do things to purposely get a reaction from them like making them jealous, especially. You're a friend that's respecting her autonomy and freedom to make up her own mind not an enemy who's taking every opportunity available to jab at her. Next time you want to say/share something consider if it will bring her closer to you or push her away. If you find the urge to blurt something out of feelings, check yourself because it may be resentment trying to make it's way to the surface.
Consider going to a counselor if you haven't/don't already. Work out your issues in a safe, productive manner. And definitely, definitely start on DB coaching to get solid advice from the experts. I just had another one today and it had been three weeks since my last one. A lot of negative stuff crept up and made a home in my head in those three weeks. Talking with Chuck help get me back on track. Even with the possibility/reality of OW he was able to get me focused and solution oriented again. I use him for R advice and I see my IC for me.
