V. good! V. good! I need to set immediate goals: 1. act as if last night (the disappointment/expressing feelings) didn't happen 2. be Bob and have a good time riding. 3. get rid of migraine 4. not expect sex ?? aaagh!!
My H has admitted that he does get S.A.D., but I don't think it is just seasonal but I call it W.A.D.-if it rains all day, if it is grey outside, if it is too hot, if it is too cold, if a tornado goes through town-he's depressed. I can't change the weather and the grey Ohio climate!!
Oh, I feel like I need to "prove myself" to h to be good enough for him. As it stands, he doesn't know if he's in or out. But, obviously, he is still m to me, so I think he is in most of the time.
Yes, it does FEEL right at the time even though I know it is not.
To think about why I continue doing what I know is wrong and not working...maybe I do want to sabotage our r. I think it is me that is not committed to this r completely. I sometimes wonder if I made a mistake, but then I think he is such a great guy...and I would be so sad w/o him. Guess I can't make up my mind. (to be completely honest) I don't want anyone else, but sometimes wonder if the grass is greener. I know the intro to DR says that it isnt' and that d is not worth it, and is extremely painful...
