Sorry to find you here, but I second this is the best place to be if you need the strength, resources and even a chance to win your marriage back.

Originally Posted By: CaliGuy
She did probe a bit with me... I dropped a hint I am looking to rent a house with a friend ... she asked right away if it was a female and I told her yes ... seemed to bug her, told her I work with this person and its a mutual want that we would both like a house and I wanted out S to have his own room .. but nothing was there as far as a romantic level with this person. She did not like the fact I was "guarded" during the conversation, I did not really address it... told her I refuse to rehash the past nor fight with her.


You really need to read DR. The question we always ask is " Is what I am doing driving my WAW closer or farther away from me?" Letting her know you were moving in with a female friend is childish and tit-for-tat. If your goal was to get her wall up again and shut down when she was looking to find someone to validate and listen to her and STFU then you failed. You need to reestablish that you are a safe place and remind her why she married you in the first place....that OM is not even an option in this area. This in DB forum's is called getting a 2x4 to the head...I have had the vets here give plenty of bruises so just know I am being hard here cause I want you to win. Next time I would just be "yeah I am moving in with someone" and then drop the conversation...she can find out later on but at your chosing.
If I can do it you can do it. GAL do the shocking 180s like you taking 1/2 day off to go to the beach....things that would suprise your wife but also bring health into your relationship. For me, I just started to do things around the house quietly....I used to announce everything so she would KNOW I did it for her...Then all of a sudden the lawn was mowed and two days later she notices and is genuinely touched. oh and detach away. going to the gym or anything physical is excellent for this.

Ok in your corner keep us posted

Me 42 W:35
M: 14yrs T:15yrs
D: 8yrs D:6yrs S:3yrs
BD: "I want a D"09/03/14
Sep: 30/06/14

Don't give up when you still have something to give. Nothing is really over until the moment you stop trying.