On the brink, need a miracle

[Train]

Got my break now.

I'm behind Starsky on the compromise to keep W in the house, so I have nothing to add to that.

Circling back to the notion of losing hope because of what she wrote?

Don't let that deter you at all.

My H had told me, during our S, that he had written about "the past 10 years" and would give me what he wrote to help me understand his rationale ... and to see that he wasn't changing his mind and returning to the M. I told him I wasn't interested in reading anything he wrote while in the fog of an A; my logic told me - correctly - that there would be NO use in reading all that garbage. Because I knew that's all it was: garbage.

But guess what? I got my hands on that letter - as part of my "Operation Trust - but Verify" - AFTER H was home. It HURT to read, but mostly, it left me dumbfounded to know that the same man who had felt those feelings and written those words just two months earlier was asleep beside me in our marital bed.

I don't have to go into detail about the things he said. But rest assured, OG, that your W - in giving you ANY credit AT ALL - is miles ahead of where my H was when he left me. He didn't throw me a single bone!

And, yeah, I planned a beach trip with my kids and offered to let H come for the last couple days to spend time with the kids since I had taken away some of his days with them to be there. He was sending flirty texts to me on his way to the coast. And we spent an entire day with the kids on the beach and had a remarkable time. He even insisted on taking us out to dinner at a very nice restaurant. But while we waited, he went and grabbed us a beer at a nearby bar. And inside that bar (I would later discover, thanks to Operation Trust - but Verify), he texted OW. Since I had drawn a boundary with H before he joined us at the beach that there would be no texting OW in front of or around the kids and me at the beach, OW asked if he was alone. He told her he was with the family but had tucked into a bar. (She would often send replies like: "She's so mean." Lol.)

They chit-chatted for a few minutes and exchanged "I love yous." But the very next night, once we returned back to town from the beach, H began indicating he wanted to reconcile.

Sometimes, it happens THAT fast.

They are ALIENS, OG. Don't even try to get in that brain to figure her out. But absolutely do not allow the things she says or does make you lose faith that she will come around.

Now, about that in-home separation ...