On one hand, I'm concerned about her "underbelly" still not handling feedback that isn't all positive, and I'd very much like to see that get some focus.
On your behalf, I feel cautious...
On the other hand, a big part of me wants to CLAP CLAP CLAP!!! Because this is almost as good as it can get.
So I guess my feedback would be, Carry on as you are, stay the course and take your time.
Especially in your situation (based on your past experience), please take it slowly. Find out why she left last time and how to avoid that from happening again, and get her to communicate frustrations/pain before she lets it fester too much...
BTW, I agree with what your counselor said about intimacy & how men/women view it so differently.
Reminds me of what my favorite brother said about sex one time. He was divorced and then he dated a lot, and he had 3 d's from his m.
I told him I didn't understand how he could sleep with so many women he barely knew, and why didn't he want to get to know them first?
To which HE replied, "that's HOW I get to know them". (ME: "Oh...")
Boy, ^^^ that IS a big difference between men and women.
Most of my female friends, (not all, but most) want to get to know the man first, to feel "safe" with him, and THEN to pursue the physical aspects of compatibility.
It's one factor in dating that I would dread. Being intimate is something I like, don't get me wrong. But NOT knowing the person well, geez, it makes me think about things like "Does he like this, or that?" And "Does that stretch mark, which is NOT from carrying HIS children, freak him out?" And "God, I hope he's not one of those 'conquest & never call again' types"....(you'd hope by middle age that it is NOT something we have to deal with, but I don't know for sure...)
Maybe this^^^ sounds silly, but a lot of my friends and sisters say they think that way at times. With a few exceptions of course. There are probably biological reasons we don't feel comfortable w/intimacy too quickly as well, the inherent "stuck holding the bag" of unexpected pregnancies maybe, or just the "he didn't call after 'it'," and of course the infamous but frequently stated "Gosh I sure hope he's not an axe murderer!" also plays a role.
All I know is I hear the "I don't feel comfortable enough yet", a lot.
Back to YOU...I'm crossing my fingers. I'm very tempted to do my happy dance...
but I will hold off on that, til YOU say we can, okay?
CARRY ON!!
Last edited by 25yearsmlc; 07/31/1405:11 PM.
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
