SO much great advice and for the most part I do feel like I am on track. I have not read the book yet, ordered it a few days ago so look to have it soon. This weekend she is taking my son up to see some of her family, just as well as I have signed up for a motorcycle course.....she does not know this I only told her I have plans all weekend. I had our S last night and as always he and I have a great time together, he feels safe with me plus the fact that shortly after she left me she made play dates with the OM and his kids, my son I think seen right through it. Last night S calls his mom to say goodnight ... we do this every night when he is with the other. She sounds really down, after he said goodnight she text'd me and asked me if we could talk if I didn't she would understand, I replied once I put him down I was open to it. The past few days seems something is really going on with her. So I am sitting there and she called I told her I would call her right back (I didn't want to talk and have my son listen or hear). So I took my time and gathered myself, prayed, found center and called her back 15 minutes later. Talk was ok, nothing pressing at first I was detached keeping things light... told her I took a 1/2 day just for me and went to the beach ... she was shocked. I did get a chance to tell her she has held onto the bad in our M and was re-writing our history. Our Mediation is later today and I thought that might be bothering her but is didn't seem that way. She continuously said she is alone, worried she will die alone, like I said before I think the OM is still in the picture but just not as available as he once was ... maybe he is getting a taste of life with her .. she admittedly is not easy to be with all the time. She did probe a bit with me... I dropped a hint I am looking to rent a house with a friend ... she asked right away if it was a female and I told her yes ... seemed to bug her, told her I work with this person and its a mutual want that we would both like a house and I wanted out S to have his own room .. but nothing was there as far as a romantic level with this person. She did not like the fact I was "guarded" during the conversation, I did not really address it... told her I refuse to rehash the past nor fight with her. She is still upset over the name I called her a couple weeks ago and hung up the phone crying. Thing is ... I know its bad .. but seems that after I called her that, seems she started really thinking about what she wase doing ... I do not know if she is going through a Bi-Polar Manic phase, MLC, or what .. I did tell her that as a friend I thought she should really see a IC, her work is very stressful and will be till Sept and she says she doesn't have any time ... she doesn't talk to anyone during work or after (I don't buy it) ... she asked how I cope with being alone. I simply told her I have been staying busy and working on myself and left it at that. This morning I dropped of S and she looked tired, was not ready for work as she usually is ... I asked if she was ok .. she nodded (not convincing) and I resisted the urge to press nor give her a hug even though it looked like she wanted/needed one .. just told her I hope she had a nice day and I left.
