Oh, I thought I was telling what I thought, guess I really didn't say much about my feelings.

I feel hurt, disappointed, jilted, unloved, unworthy, not good enough, and rejected. I feel confused. I have told him what I would like and what would help, what he can do...
I feel tired. I seem to do most of the planning, initiating stuff to do, initiating sex, trying to figure out things to do, etc. I just feel like in some regards this R is lop-sided. Granted I am most adventurous and a big planner, but I get tired of doing it ALL the time. Or if he asks what I want to do, I answer, and he either says no or ignores my request. Why did he ask???

Maybe I don't act like I am worth it. I'm not sure. I have been doing more of my own thing: I've been playing vball, going out w/ff's, and now have a new group of people to rockclimb with. I just want to do stuff w/h too!

Physical activity makes me feel good, and I like a lot of sex!! If I don't get it from him??? I know I could mb, but it's just not nearly as fun or satisfying! I like to try new things - restaurants, clubs, activities...

H knows what I like to do, it's just a matter of getting him to do it-WITH ME. However, we are now going to bike together and that will be our new "thing" since he can't climb walls anymore.

I say let's do this, but then I have to be the one to get up and move and motivate. sorry, but I have to motivate myself let alone another person! When we were dating, he said he liked me b/c I like to do stuff and I helped get him off the couch. well, he's gained 30-40 lbs and now I can't move him myself. **joke, but true.** I ask him to do something and I get this UHUNGUH answer which translates into I don't know. I have quit asking him what he wants to do, b/c I cannot get an answer. asking questions does not work.

Prob. is I feel like he doesnt' care by not helping to make plans, initiate ml, etc. He just seems SO f'in apathetic! I want to smak him or my head against the wall! I cannot make him feel differently about me, or motivate him-that has to come from him, no?

Deal breaker? As in, if I don't get romance, would the m be over?

I'm afraid that if I quit initiating, planning, NOTHING will happen. We'll sit at home on the couch, have sex once a week, and not have romance. A 180 for me is to quit pursuing him, but I have such a hard time b/c I want these things so bad and b/c I am horny...a lot!!!

I agree that H would not say, "yeah, I did it to piss her off." But, he knows what DOES piss me off and he still does it. We had this discussion a few weeks ago. He said, "if I knew something p'd you off, I wouldn't do it." I had to keep from laffing! I said not to be smart, but I've told you how frustrating it is to try to communicate w/you and only get "uhunghuh." So, he has made some effort in this one day this week. :.)

Submitting this post now. I will add another that says what H would say. It will be long, and prob. painful.
tx
karen