My confusing story

[Atsbaby]

Yesterday I went and got my hair cut and highlighted. H tried calling and texting me while I was there...honestly didn't pay much attention to the phone!

H wanted to make sure my parents could watch the kids and I could get them after school...H committed to football stuff. I answer with a yes.

An hour later asked if I could do him a favor, I asked what is it. H wanted a change of clothes from our home, but said if I couldn't that it was ok. I told him I would. I was probably being a doormat, but I did want to see if he would react to my hair cut....very different for me.

I dropped off his clothes and he was very brief with me, maybe 1 minute convo. Granted I was on the way to class and didn't have time to talk. After I made it out to the car, I got a text that said did you cut your hair. No mention that I'm now blonde...but he sort of noticed.

H came over after football. I was trying to do my 180 and not ask about his day, but he was not really saying anything. I did ask him, and he began to open up about some of his frustrations at work. It was nice to be his sounding board (been a long time). I just validated and practiced not interrupting, which is a 180.

When h finished he did make a comment that after we had sex Monday, he thought it would just be a relief, but he wanted more. I agreed. H reiterated that it would not change anything...I said I understood.

It's really strange how I have detached from him. I used to always want him to cuddle with me and be emotional, but I haven't shed 1 tear. I think I may even be using him! There is still a connection, don't get me wrong, how could there not be after 19 years?

I finished one of my classes last night and will focus on finishing dr. I feel stuck and I think that is the next chapter of the book.

We haven't argued in weeks possibly months. There has been no real R or D talk. H had mentioned in passing the ATTY and child custody, but then nothing else is said or done. H still talks about finding his own place, but again not sure he has physically looked in the past week or so.

I'm hoping in a couple weeks to be able to set up an appt with one of the db coaches to help me make a plan. I'm so confused as to whether H is in MLC or just WAH. I've compared a lot of stuff on the MLC forum and he used to fit some of that stuff. I guess it could just be mild, or he is still trying to figure out his own stuff. BUT this is also why I think he is EA with someone. He is being faithful in the physical sense. I'm just so confused .

Any advice or guidance would be great. I haven't heard from anyone in a long time!