I haven’t gotten caught up on where you are in this process, but this last post did catch my eye.
My H is the same exact way. When it comes to his friends, he’ll stay out all night. He’ll laugh and talk and drink and be merry. If they go to a game, he’s into it. When he goes out with me, he has to be home early because he’s tired. He has a beer, at most. He doesn’t clap and dance and sign along at Hard Rock.
If you have read far enough back, you realize that I am a crazymaker. I leap at opportunities for conflict. And I would play the role of the martyr and get bitter over the fact that he didn’t put as much effort in our time together as he did with his friends and their time together. Basically, looking back, I would ruin a semi-good evening (I first wrote perfectly good evening but decided that wasn’t quite the truth…) by moping.
So now? As you saw in my hockey post…I go and I have a good time regardless. I had to wonder, if he expected me to be disappointed and critical – maybe that is why he wanted to end the evenings earlier than he did with his friends. My fish is not quite trusting of me just yet.
And my other side of the coin was the OW. I always thought that he put more effort into himself when he was going out with the friends because of any female tag alongs. Well, I still do think that from time to time. BUT, if he is going for that purpose I will never know so there really isn’t any point in worrying about it.
Goal: the time he spends with me will be good. It will be good because I will make it good. Any reservations, complaints or disappointments I have will be put through the test of Betsey’s overnight rule and vented only to the BB. My husband will have no choice but to see me as upbeat, fun loving and easy going.
"It is not easy to find happiness in ourselves, and it is not possible to find it elsewhere."
--Agnes Repplier, writer and historian
