busting, It takes quite a while for the reconnection to take place. They don't magically wake up one day and return home and normal. Just as they gradually went into MLC, they will gradually start to wake up. As they begin to wake up, they are very fragile and will need to "feel" their way along w/reconnecting. When they return home, it usually takes 18-24 months before they finally, and I do mean finally, settle down and continue on w/life as a mature family member. Now, I will caution you on this, sometimes they return normal and then there are times that they will keep some of the traits they exhibited during the crisis. For example, if your h never chewed gum before the crisis and did it during the crisis, he may continue chewing it once home. Hopefully your h will continue to reconnect, come home and take some to settle down into his "new" life.
One thing, you will have a new marriage and you can't return to the old one. Both of you will be different and that means you both will be learning about each other again. Don't revert back to the old habits and expectations.
Give him plenty of time and space to wake up. Keep your expectations low or none at all and dig deeper for patience. It's going to take some time and this is truly the hardest part for the spouse because you are anxious to get the crisis over w/and yet, you are still on his timeline. Don't rush it or he will run right back up the rabbit hole and it will take even longer for him to come out again. Patience and more patience is what is needed during this reawakening period.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
