Well, Here goes Wed. eve. I come home from work, h is on the puter. ok, no prob. I go to lay down for a few, he comes in and asks what I am doing. I said, "Just laying here for a few minutes. I just need to get work out of my mind and then we'll be able to have a nice, relaxing evening." H: ok, what do you want to do? Me: I would like to go to Joe Shmo's for a BLT. H: OK, when? Me: I'm going to take a shower in a few min. (He knows exactly how long it takes me to get ready.) I get ready, he's still on the puter. Me: I need to go pick up a prescription. H: ok. I come back, he's still on the puter. H: when will you be ready to go? Me: anytime (Hello! I've been ready-x time went by, I spritzed, I've perfumed, etc. Mind you-I was looking SeXy!!!) H: ok. Puts on a sweater, comes out. Me: **sniff sniff** you didn't put on any cologne? H: I don't want it to clash w/my sports deodorant. Me: oh, I can't smell it unless I stick my nose in your pits. (Joking) H sprays, puts shoes on, we go to din.
Din: I am being pleasant and talkative, he responds but does not start much convo. himself. He doesn't ask if I want to do anything else, and drives home. We sit on couch and talk. He lays back and starts falling asleep! It is 9:20!!! So, I go do some laundry, brush my teeth, etc. I go into bedroom to fold some laundry. He crawls into bed. I asked if he was just gonna pass out. Him: pretty much. Ok, I get into bed just staring at the ceiling. H: what are you doing? Me: just trying to figure out what to do w/myself since you are sleeping. Little time goes by, I pick up book, put it down, turn out light. H says that wasn't long. Me: no. H: is something bothering you?
Me: yeah, a little...i just feel dissappointed that we had this eve. together and you are falling asleep. H: well, i didn't sleep well last night. Me: I'm not mad, just a little dissappointed. No response from him, he goes to sleep. I get up for a while, go back to bed.
This morn. H said goodbye very quickly. (I stayed in bed in the dark so he wouldn't notice that I had been crying.) He leaves, I get up, he comes in and asks if I still want him to fix light bulb on my truk. Yes, I say, that would be good. Thanks. (I don't look at him b/c I don't want him to see my face.)
Ok, here's the deal. I'm supposed to act as if this doesn't bother me??? If he were going out w/his friends, he would have taken a nap during the day (he didn't do anything all day), shaved, ironed some nice clothes, put on cologne, gel his hair, put on nice shoes, and go out until 12 - 2 in the am. Am I not worth it???
He just denied the other day that he puts more effort into going out with his friends. This happens all the time. He's too tired, sore, crabby with me. He doesn't want to do anything, he doesn't want to be romantic. So, I know his response would be, "I would put more effort into our R if you didn't get upset all the time."
I think that I am doing much better and making a sincere effort to change! Sorry, I get disappointed!!
SAME OLD SAME OLD!!! WTF do I do? I feel like telling him to do whatever he needs to do to get over this grudge he has against me. I feel like he is being passive aggressive. There have been other instances where he agrees to go out and then doesn't talk! or something...
We are not that OLD! He does have a physically demanding job I know, but he was off Tues. & Wed, just laying around, did some laundry, picked up some car parts.
Am I being insane??? I would like to have a fun, romantic R, but I feel so lonely in this R. I know I have done my share of f'ing up, and still do occassionally, but it is less, and at least I own up to it!
I don't know what to do later. we are supposed to bike, but it may rain all day. I really don't feel like it...
