Hi I'm new, I hope I won't be a burden... prt 4

[25yearsmlc]

Yeah i am islamic.. muslim basically.. to be honest i really dont follow it.. but i guess i was raised into the cultural side of it. I drink and what not and dont pray or go mosque.. its really just by name. So i guess this should make more sense right as to why i said that. Not trying to justify myself.

1wish, I am going to be brutally honest with you, but I thnk it'll save us both some time.

To me, it sounds as if the parts of your religion that you think allow you to control and criticize your wife, are what you "follow", or what influences you,

but the hard parts you don't follow - are just the things you choose not to follow.

Kind of convenient...

Your comments reveal a deep resentment towards her, (or women in general, I can't really tell) are for reasons I cannot fathom.

In fact, I think the resentment and fury, is more about you than her. And you DID sound furious. You called her a bitch here, on a pro-marriage site which you are on, b/c you said you wanted to save your marriage....

and why?

B/C the gift she was giving you, (YES A GIFT) was not in the form you wanted?? No, that cannot be it. ...but I can't wrap my brain around the real reason.

I just don't see you as mature enough or fair enough, to resume a relationship with a woman, let alone a marriage.

You know, In most (all??) religions,

men are seen as providers and protectors AND partners.

Do you see any of these^^^ fitting you as you are now?

You are her biggest critic, so I can't see any reason for her to be with you.

I am sincerely asking you, can you see a reason for her to choose YOU?

B/C if you cannot, you need to assess what YOU can do, to become a man she would choose.

I'd start by NOT belittling her and showing some gratitude towards her.

Also read "The Five Love Languages" by Chapman.

See I think your wife is trying to show you love, in her way. I think we all can see it clearly by the work she put into planning that trip...

But you are dismissing it b/c it was not "wrapped" the way you want it wrapped.
And you called her a bitch...( That stunned me)

And that is tragic....for both of you.

1wish, you have a long road ahead of you. I hope you will walk the walk.

The way you speak of her makes me think it'd be better for her,

if you did NOT pursue her, b/c I don't see what's in it for her.

But no, I don't believe you will do the work you need to do, b/c I think it's just easier for you to never learn that, and to "Start over" with someone else.

Like a man who doesn't learn how to change the oil in his car, but just gets a new car every time the red light goes on, on his dashboard. SEEMS easier to just buy a new car but it costs a lot more, over time.

You have to see the gain you'd get by doing the personal work you MUST do to become a good catch. There is a huge pay off but I"m not sure it's visible to you.

And I'm really sorry to say that, but it's how I see it.