Wife is Continuing Affair-When Do I Start LRT IV

[PeterV2]

Hi Dev;
Rental car is a good idea. And only leave stuff around the house that you want the W to find.

I remember leaving an article "How to Permanently End your Affair" on my office credenza when I went away for a couple of days. I know the W looked at it because it's position was moved.

When I went away last weekend, I hid all my DB & DR stuff, notes, plans, manifestos, etc., but I did leave a book I was reading called "Worn Out Woman" (recommended by Sandi I think) on my bookshelf, and when I returned my W said she found the book and took it and is reading it and it's helping her. I did leave that book there because I was hoping she'd find it. It shows her I'm trying to understand her crisis and at the same time I thought it would be a good read for her too, but I wasn't about to thrust it into her hands - that's pursuing.

So if you want your W to read something relevant without you forcing it on her, leave it lying around at your house. If you want her to read a particular passage, just put a sticky note in that page.

And stop worrying about what she's doing or the OM. You cannot control her. You can only control yourself. I know it's hard to detach - man, I have such a hard time with it, but it really does feel better than constantly obsessing over the A. Just go and enjoy your vacation with the kids. Have a great time.